Small penises have feelings too.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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