dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
