so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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