its not stalking. its research.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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