He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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