At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
