Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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