you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
