i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
