You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I need water and some morals
Randomize
