i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
