For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize