I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
