You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize