He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
