How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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