all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
