The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
These tits shall not be calmed
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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