im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize