nut hugger
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There r osticjed everywhere
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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