I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i've created a new STD.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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