Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
