I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
