Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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