we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
