Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
