paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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