i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
