Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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