I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize