She said her name was "party"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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