Cold hands, warm shart.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
did you just send me my own nude
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
