we have officially lost it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
