I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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