i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
id be glad to
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
