Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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