I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
