do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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