I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I would ride that face into the sunset
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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