the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
