idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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