Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
