I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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