Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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