Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
