I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
More tranny stories later!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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