whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
