so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think pants incapable of making pants work
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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