sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
