I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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