He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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