he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize