i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
