i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
