U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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