Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize