Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
