Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize