My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
