her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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