he puts the penis in happiness.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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