hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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