i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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