When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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