Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
