nut hugger
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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