dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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