therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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