either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I understand Curling. That high.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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