i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
