Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
