It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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