My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize